I feel like I've been doing a lot of reflection over these past few months. And in the past few days I feel like that's all that I can focus on. As many of my friends start a new school year at UNCG I can't help but reflect on my time at school. UNCG was an incredible 4 years and in no way do I feel like I should be there this fall. I'm done with school. I've made my peace with the separation. I can feel in my guts that I'm where I'm supposed to be...but it's still weird. It's weird talking to friends when they tell you that things just weren't the same. That it's different this year. It's only when it's "different" that you really appreciate parts of your past. The big things you'll always appreciate--anniversaries, birthdays, graduation. These are big days. We count down to these days--each marking a significant turning point in our lives. What's funny is that even though these things symbol change, change doesn't usually come in these exact moments. Change happens over time. And sometimes you don't even realize it till it's over--or you're so far into it that you realize just the person that you're becoming. What we need to remember is to live in the now; to appreciate even the smallest things. The things that you take for granted because your community of friends is concentrated in one place so grabbing lunch or going to a movie are no big deal.
Currie had his auditions tonight for the fall semester at school. I asked him how it went and what he was doing after and he had told me that it went well and that he was talking to his mom...weird. I love Mrs. T more than most people, but if I were there then Currie and I would probably be together going over every moment of our auditions and making predictions for how it would all turn out. And as more of our friends would finish they would join us and we would analyze, reanalyze, and then probably reanalyze again. I never realized how much I cherished that time until now. There is something so beautiful about a group of people coming together and wanting the best for each other. What a gift. And it passed me right by.
The lesson that I'm learning over and over is to slow down and listen. Give your time and care and love to those who are most important. Invest the time because the gifts you get are priceless. Sit back and marvel at the gift that is presented in front of you--appreciate your bounty and always always remember to say thank you.
Well, Alex, once again you made me cry!!! It's funny, because I was also thinking about how Currie must be missing you tonight. You have always been such a great support system and sounding board for him, and your not being there has to leave a huge gap in his life. The most important thing, though, is the fact that you have ties to the friends that you made at UNCG for life. Years from now, you will still hold these people very close in your heart, even if they are not with you physically. You all have helped mold and shape each other into the women/men that you are and will become. I know for a fact that "my" Currie will be a much better man for having you in his life. Alex and Katy were the first UNCG friends that Currie made, and you are both still deeply rooted in his life. The impact that your friendship has made on my son's life is invaluable. You will never know how much your actions have meant to not only him, but to his family, as well.
ReplyDeletePlease keep on writing about your thoughts and adventures. It appears from your writing that you are taking the road to your future in a very smart and mature way, and I absolutely cannot wait to see where it all takes you. I'm so glad I'm allowed to come along for the ride! Take care!