Last weekend I traveled down to the sweet south to see
ALICE, an updated version on the beloved story.
It was a super cool show and a huge technical challenge. Sam stage managed and I was thrilled to be able to see the production.
He did a fantastic job and I was so proud of him!
A lot of things came out of this visit for me.
It was great to see people and reconnect with them.
For many of us at UNCG, our next step is very often
New York City.
And so I was more than happy to tell everyone everything that I thought about it—good and bad.
I was honest about my feelings and humble about my experiences.
I in no way made it seem any more glamorous than it actually is.
I admitted to the fact that yes, it can be lonely.
Yes, the subway is crap.
Yes, everything is super expensive.
I told them about my moving experience—what I think I did right and wrong.
I also told them about the good stuff.
About how much theatre is right at your fingertips.
How sometimes you can be so inspired by your surroundings that you’re almost overwhelmed, and how your luck can absolutely change in a New York minute.
I was flattered to hear “You look great!” from people who I wasn’t particularly close with while in school.
I am in no way saying this to toot my own horn, but it got me to thinking.
You look great.
Three words-a whole lot of meaning.
Since I’ve been back I’ve been thinking about that, about what I’ve been doing to “look great”—and it was an interesting discovery.
In thinking about it I realized how great I feel about having this job. The fact that I am needed to get things done. Important things. I am in no way saying that I am the end all be all, but it is nice to have deadlines and things that need to be done. It makes you feel like your work counts. And here, I know that it does. This company is such a good fit for me, and I’m learning a lot about it. Not only as an employee of it, but the benefits of treating your employees well, and how you get out what you put in. Another thing that I’ve been doing lately is getting about 8 hours of sleep a night. Amazing what it’s done for me. It’s not that I didn’t want to get that kind of sleep when I was in undergrad, but I was always doing something. And I couldn’t say no. Honestly, it’s not that I couldn’t say no, it’s that I didn’t want to. What can I say? I love UNCG. Now I find myself getting home around 6:30 and honestly being ready to go to bed at 11:30-12:00…and I’m more than cool with that. Sleep has done wonders for my world. Another thing that I’ve been focusing on is making better food choices. While this is something I struggled with in the past, I feel like this is something else that I want for myself. I want to take care of myself and put things in my body that fuel me for the rest of the day. If I’m being honest with myself about how I struggled I know why—it’s because I never made time for it and always pushed it to the side. Well, now that I have more of a regulated schedule I’m making it a priority to make time for it.
All of these things have helped me “feel great”—because I do. I feel like I’ve been beaming lately. And because of that I just feel better about the world around me. Being able to buy a plane ticket to see Sam as well as the rest of the UNCG family was the ultimate reward. One of the things that I love the most about seeing Sam is that he and I don’t even skip a beat. It takes us no time to get “back into the swing.” I feel so connected with him that we don’t even need that time, which is a blessing.
It’s crazy, but somewhere in the last 6 months I grew up. That’s not to say that I wasn’t an adult before, but now more than ever I feel like a grownup. And (to sound like I’m 12), it’s so cool! And I love it.
I’m excited for what the next few weeks bring: Thanksgiving with my family-my core of people who adore me no matter how crazy I get (right, Dad?).
I’ll spend the weekend shopping with my sweet mother and hanging out with my dad.
Harrison (my brother) will grill me about everything—mostly Sam, my job, and living in
New York.
He hates to admit it, but he loves me more than he will ever let on.
And I’ll get to see my dogs!-my 3 favorite canines on the planet.
And we’ll spend Thanksgiving with our extended family…hoping to avoid politics (a favorite topic of conversation for the adults…well the old adults…HA!).
And then I’ll head down to NC for a weekend to celebrate Christmas with Sam and then a few weeks later I’ll head back to Chicago and spend the actual Christmas with my family, and then Sam will come to NYC for the New Year and whoosh, we’re into January!
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t bummed that Sam and I won’t be together for the holidays, but we’re doing our best to make up for it.
Right now, we’re doing the best we can with what we’ve got—maybe next year we can work something out, but it’s hard when you have family in
Chicago and
North Carolina.
This post has been so self indulgent and I apologize. I guess the bottom line is that I feel good about where I am and it’s a lesson that I continue to learn. It is important that we check in with ourselves and how we’re feeling. I feel like my generation is terrible at doing that. We’re always competing against each other and jumping into a million different things to better our future. What we must do is stop. Listen. And participate in things that we can benefit from. Isn’t the goal to get something out of what you’re doing? So why not invest yourself in a few things that really matter instead of sign your name onto a million things where you can’t be fully present. What I’m learning is that I am a better version of myself when I take care of myself. Duh, right? So why don’t more of us do it? I’m a better friend, girlfriend, daughter, employee, and volunteer when I take care of myself. I’m living proof of it. And, while I’m here, something else I’ve learned through trial and error is that you can’t change everything you’re doing at once or none of it will stick--which in many ways I’m still learning. So, as I continue to change my lifestyle to a healthier one mentally and physically, I do hope that you will join me. Don’t focus on the reward of it all (albeit awesome), but moreover focus on where you are and celebrate in that. We will never be perfect (something I’m still trying to learn) and we can only give our best. I know I’ve said this, but be kind to people. Love the people you surround yourself with (and if you don’t love them, consider separating yourself from them). Take a moment on Thanksgiving to count your blessings, and be thankful!—your future awaits you and you control your destiny. Trust in what you’re doing now will continue to drive yourself to where you want to be. And know that in the end, everything happens for a reason.
